Got Rave?!? News

Hahaha! Stuck home yet again on a Friday night! Man, not havin money sucks my arse! Ya know what I mean? What I need is a rich woman who will spend at least enough money to go bowling or something. Its pathetic how I just sit at home the whole evening watching my young adult years slip away. I guess thats a bit better than not remembering much you your HS days. My HS days were just horrid, I never want to go through something like that again. PLEASE! NEVER AGAIN! It is all like a bad dream, the only good thing about it was I was a pretty popular guy, well at least everybody said hi to me *laugh* Hrm...is there anyway to go back to our past so we can change it for the better?

I don't think I would have made some choices I did, and maybe life would be a bit more stable. Eh what ever ya know? This is a short entry with meaningless babble. WHY? I really don't know, just a bit of a tough time thinking positive while I sit at home, bored out of my mind. Ha! Hardly the thing for a man who was preaching about living life to be doing. BUT, it's my whingin time! So bite me and read tha next entry cuz it can't be as bad as this one! *wink*

What makes life so exciting? Why do we complain about such horrid existances, but when given a way out, i.e. death. We cling to our miserable life as if we enjoyed life. I know I do, I b*tch and moan a lot about my life, but over all I must say it has been good to me. No matter what I've done to screw it up. What about you? Yeah I know...we've all been through a lot, some more than others. All that you really need to remember is the fact that no matter how bad life seems, there is always someone going through the same thing, or has experienced the same thing. Hardly comforting I know, but it is nice to know that people are always around to help. Always. There will always be a sympathetic soul in the world to listen to your hardships and understand.

I ask again what make life worth hanging onto in the face of losing it? Maybe it's because, life is all we know and we fear death. I fear it as well, but less than most others I've found. I figure when it is my time to go it is my time to go, nothing can change that. A rather simple look at it I would guess, but I prefer to look at it in a simple fashion all other things complicate it too much. Take for example looking for a job. I went for an interview the other day and my grandmother told me about a friend she had working at the same company I was getting the interview for. Well thats great, she suggested that her friend could help me get a job. I just turned to my grandmother and smiled. "Thanks grandma, but I know how to get hired....I go in and get interviewed. If they like me they hire me." Or simple she said.

Yeah simple, thats all I really want from life, simplicity. Don't you? You know finish school with no problems, fall in love, marry live happily ever after. Life, it seems, doesn't like that idea all too much. We all struggle, we all complain, but we beg and plead for our lives when our end is near. No fear is as big and real as the fear of death. We spend so much of our lives fearing death we forget to live. DOn't ever forget what life is about. Experiences, love, and most of all learning! Live life like there is no tomorrow! I'm not saying forsake responsibility. I am just saying when you do have that free time, rather than plop down in front of the TV, get up and go out. Learn how to dance, learn about nature, learn about ancient history, expand your horizons. I assure you when death comes knocking, you won't regret life as much, and you may even accept your passing as a new adventure.

Hmmmmm....I was thinking about sexual harassment, and I thought. How odd that we call being human, unlawful. Granted some may cross the lines of good taste and offend the occasional person. But some people are just to squimish to be part of the real world don't you think? I mean you see horrid things on the news, in the movies, and the music. How can you be offended by something as innocuous as an advance? How else are we supposed to get our point across...without a little flirtatious behavior? How? Think about it, how many of your parents met through these...unsolicited advances? Besides it takes all the fun out of goin to work to meet your future gf, fiance, or maybe even wife. If women are really concerned about it why don't they just become empowered? Some one says something you don't like tell them. They make a lurid comment, tell them. ANd nothing like oh that makes me feel a tad uncomfortable. Make yourself heard! Shut up you sexist pig! Don't you ever think with any other part of your person other than your gonads? I guarentee no guy will ever cross you again. Besides isn't that true empowerment? To be able to say what's on your mind and have people respect it? None of this we just had a major victory in the courtroom today. Today we sent a message to all those heathens. Ugh! No! You should sent an instant message right after the offense. Don't drag it out, let it be solved RIGHT NOW! The more and more that take these cases to court the less and less women will be seen as equals. you want equality? Earn it and show the world you don't have to hide behind laws, but that you can solve you r problem now and if you don't come across as a demure woman...so much the better. you are one step closer to be EQUAL in everybodies' eyes.

7: Why is the world full of hate?
23: Such a big question from a little child.
7: Well?
23: I don't know, but I guess thats why we have family and imagination.
7: I like my family, but what is imagination?
23: Do you pretend?
7: Yes I can go places and be different people.
23: Yeah thats it, thats your imagination, being able to pretend.
7: Why is it important?
23: It helps you realize there can be and is good in the world.
7: Oh......but...why don't people get along?
23: A variety of reasons, but the main one is they can't accept differences.
7: Being different is bad?
23: No its very good...take your imagination for example, what is different in that world?
7: I don't understand.
23: Let me try this, in my world the elephants are pink and eat purple polka dots. Do you have anything odd like tat when you imagine?
7: YES! I am a princess.
23: Great, you'll always be my little princess though, anything else?
7: Everybody gets along....
23: I see, my world too...wouldn't it be great if we would all just use a little imagination in the real world?
7: I think so, but why do people hate each other?
23: I don't know, its time for you to sleep anyway, we'll talk more in the morning.
7: Good night.
23: Good night and remember to be nice to me when you're a princess in your dreams.
7: I will...can I see your pink elephants?
23: Of course you will, now go to sleep.

So I had this dream the other night...it involved almost every friend in my life as of now. It was a weird collage of events. If you have seen Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, it will be easier for you to visualize what I saw. The scene after they commit the robbery, when they celebrate in the bar. That was how my dream was presented. A trippy technoish soundtrack in the background while I watched events unfold in a stop-action kind of thing. Lots of point of view panning, really kewl and odd at the same time.

The events in the dream were pretty nondescript and mundane so I won't relate all the action of my dream. But I will tell you about the most memorable moment, I sat in my house surrounded by my friends, talking and reliving old times with them, I closed my eyes to try and shake the whole stop motion thing and to try and clear the whole far away voices syndrome. When I opened them we were in the mountains, still the voices kept coming at me even though half of my friends were no longer there. The tone began to change in the voices half were rowdy and happy as before but the other half seemed to grow distant and fearful. I closed my eyes again hoping to take us back to my living room and bring back those I had lost. Instead I found myself sitting at a park here in Albuquerque, a park from my childhood, Snow Heights park. With just four people, my net bud Nikki, my best hombre Josh, mah gurlie Julia, and my ex fiance. The voices were mere whispers, quietly telling me I had to choose. Why, I don't know, but I looked at the faces of my friends and didn't know what to say. Finally my ex smiled and whispered, I know your over me, then stepped back and faded. I looked at the other three for some sort of answer. Josh just smirked and said I'll be around. I closed my eyes for a moment to try and clear the voices. They disappeared until I opened my eyes again, then they rushed back with a harsh intensity, I reeled from the force like I would from a punch and stumbled to the ground. I looked around and saw I was back in my living room, alone and wondering what was goin on. There was a knock at the door, the voices were silent finally. I walked to the door to answer it, when the voices returned in chorus, DON'T OPEN IT! I stopped and shook my head, it was silent again. One more step, and I woke up.

Why I dreamt this I don't know, if it has meaning I don't know, but I just needed to share it cuz it was like this nagging thought that just wouldn't go away. Live life kids, no regrets!