Got Rave?!? News

I like to vote! I decided that today. And regardless of the outcome I'm happy that I cast my lot for the person I believed wanted what I wanted for the country. Think what makes me angry about voting though, is how people b*tch and moan about how one person will effectively destroy the country, if it is the person other than the one they voted for. or those who vote for the "lesser of two evils" because they don't want so-and-so to win. Good idea but is that a quote-unquote democracy? Granted we do live in a republic, but you know we like to call it a democracy. I figure as long as I vote my mind I should be ok right? I mean if something strikes me as fishy to what is happening I just get off me arse and raise all bloody hell right? It is a country run by the people after all. Why do we react like its a matter of life and death? Like when the final vote is cast that determines the course of our country. Like armageddon will start if so-and-so is voted into office. I don't see that as very well optimistic. Are we just a pessemistic society now? Let's just vote for who we believe in and leave it at that. Think if Nader gets his 5% we wil actually have a third party next presidential election.

You know how sometimes you just might spit something out...just because? I tend to do that a lot. I am the master of sticking my fete in my mouth. I swear I should just carry a little seasonging cabinet with me so when I stick me feet in me mouth I can at least taste something different each time. Heh. But such is life I would guess. Though it seems I can't do that at critical times, I've liked this one girl for so long it just amazes me. Normally infatuation just wears off, but not so in this girl's case. She seems like a perfect match but you know that whole, it could never be thought creeps in, followed be, she doesn't see you as anything more than a friend, which graciously bows out before the, besides, you wouldn't have a chance in hell makin it work with her. Yeah thats about all I hear when I start to think about her or wonder if we could make it work. I have been able to tell every single girl before her that I like them. No problem makin a fool out of myself. Acutally every girl after I met her I've been able to say such things to as well, its just her. Why? What makes her so different from the rest? Makes one wonder you know? If she is so special why can't I just break down and try. if she is so special it just wasn't meant to be right? Why can't I face the fact that I might not ever get her or make her happy in any way, other than as a friend. I just can't fathom how one girl can make me doubt myself so much. I'm normally the self confident type who just goes and does, but she makes me pause and think, and become self concious. Just lots of questions but no answers

Hmmmm...we need a change...I need to change...something has to change...great but what is this high and mighty change we have to make? What gets me the most is how people say we when we all know they mean you or me. WHy don't we just come out and say it? No more dancing around the subject, just be to the point. I'm sure we would all enjoy the time we save with that. I know I would. If suck tell me, if I'm kewl tell me. But don't try to tell me I suck by saying "I've dealt with better" or anything like that. I think thats one of my hardest habits to break. Being honest even to the point of brutally. Most people don't understand it and tend to take offense. out of place I think would best describe me. Just an out of place guy with wierd thoughts and ideas. But hey we wierd guys are pretty fun, no?

You know when you have a bf or gf, it stands to reason that they would be your best friend right? So why is it that when you break up with them that you become bitter enemies? is it like an engrained human response or is it just something society teaches us? Seriously I don't think I've had any ex gfs that I could call good friends right now. The only one that I could I had to push away because of her over controlling bf. Do we intentionally hurt our "old" significant others out of spite? I've seen it and had it happen when we "part" as friends. You know I still have a stalker, she gets my number every single time I get a new one or move. That is scary, the last four have been unlisted! Anyways she still comes around and tries to poison the minds of any girl I try and date. Sick isn't that, I take that as tryin to hurt me in some way, wouldn't you? This was someone who was supposed to be a friend too. Well you know what I've had enough if yer not my friend you have now become the new target of all my hate. Which really isn't a lot. Man I need to learn how to hate more

I had a dream last night, where I was having a hard time breathing through out the whole thing. I don't know what was goin on really but something was preventing me from breathing. The wierd part was I wasn't panicking, I actually kind of just went with the flow. You know how people make claims of bright lights and such when they have a near death experience. That's pretty much what my dream turned into. It was wierd because in the back of my mind I had the thought of "did I really stop breathing?". I kept going though, kind like a falling dream then, but down a colorful hole. Like the inside of a technicolor tube. I just kind of lost myself in the movement of the color and the peace that surrounded me. I was just lost and enjoying everything when I closed my eyes(seems to be the catalyst for wierd experiences in my dreams- ed.) When I opened my eyes I was back in my panicked state of not being able to breathe. I kind of gave up then I guess yo could say and started to sink back into the hole I had just emerged from, when a thought shot through my head "BREATHE!"

This is just a thought, you know how "they" say when you die in a dream you die in real life. Is that what I was about to do? or is my subconcious just really twisted? Hah I may never know but all I know is every once in a while my brain will cut in with, "BREATHE!".